The Luxury of Time

This time of year, we are encouraged to reflect on everything we've accomplished in the last 365 days. What does that mean anyway? Well, according to Merriam-Webster, reflection means “to block and redirect; to mirror; to show; to realize or consider.” This action is often the result of a year's worth of activity, done by many at the end of one going into another. What makes us do this? Why all the fuss about how our time has been spent? I often wonder if this idea of looking back, considering, is a new concept for people or has been done by humans for, well, eternity. Why is this a trend, or should I say a tradition? Would our time be better spent looking ahead? We do that, too! What I don't see as much of though, and I'm saying I am guilty of it too, is being present, living in the moment.

Being present is hard. Why, though, is it so hard to not look back or look forward? For me, I am guilty of looking ahead. It could be as simple as looking forward to a cup of coffee. It could also be looking forward to a vacation or retirement. I think one possible reason for this is that we don't live the life we were meant to live. Now, don't go thinking I'm judging everyone. Hear me out. I am saying that in our society, we are taught to be goal-oriented, as in, we need to aspire to greatness. Our kids are encouraged to think big, in academics, in sports, in pretty much everything. So, how is this bad, you ask? It is hard to live a fulfilled life when we're always chasing greatness. You get the wannas. I wanna do this, I wanna do that, and then, I'll buy this and go there, and on and on and on. There is no end or limit to what we dream about wanting. I'm not saying we shouldn't dream, but our society seems to thrive on the idea of dreaming big. It makes it very difficult to be present. Does this concept even come into play when you consider what we “could” be? If we are currently happy with everything, what's next? That, my friend, is looking ahead, not being present.

Some societies seem to have been more present than ours. I believe these cultures, or peoples, were usually considered primitive or uncultured. Why is that? Because they didn't aspire to our concept of greatness. Perhaps to not think big is to be great. Has this ever occurred to anyone? I'm not saying we should all be lazy. Being present means living for this moment. Just thinking about what that entails may make your brain lose a screw or two! I mean, for us, living in the moment seems too temporary. It can be a nice break from reality, you think, but every day? How can we live in the moment all the time? Good question. I don't have the answer, unfortunately. I, too, struggle with the idea of living this way. However, I want to learn how to do this more intentionally. It is hard to plan how to live in the moment, since doing so is literally planning ahead. It almost feels like an exercise in futility. How can I ever live in the moment when society expects me to participate in dreaming up the “best life ever”? I could maybe hide myself away and live in the woods, but even then, I can't be fully present. It's a mindset we don't often see in our society.

For this coming year, I want to be more present. What does that mean or entail? Well, first of all, I want to enjoy what I do, moment to moment. There is so much learning to do, but also so much joy in the simple things. I'm an avid birdwatcher, and I often get distracted by these creatures, in a good way. It doesn't make me any money or anything. I have the luxury of observation any day of the year. I can also try to listen to people better. Hearing them isn't the same as listening, because hearing doesn't involve any understanding. When we truly listen to others, we can better help or understand them. Understanding is a gift. To say “I understand,” we are really acknowledging a connection. Sounds deep, I know. My understanding, though, of how to fully be present has not come to a complete fruition. For me, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I want to live this way, but it will take time and practice to actually do it. Slow and steady wins the race. That's what this life seems to be, a race. I want to stop running, though, and just be. So much to “being”, though, is not acceptable to many people. You snooze, you lose, so the saying goes. For me, let me snooze. I am not trying to win, but rather, live for the moment.