How Do You Know if You're a Writer?

This question most likely haunts many writers, especially those who have never had anything published. I am one of them. So, how do you know, really? I have pondered this question more times than I'd care to admit. I also don't tell people that I am a writer very often. Why? Because I fear others will not see me as one because I have no "proof". "Proof," I usually think, is profiting from my work. This definition is a tricky one, however, because profit may not come in the form of income. I fear ridicule by others who sense that if I was really a writer, I would have found a way to make a living from it by this time of my life. I haven't exactly tried though, but still have the desire to one day dip my big toe out there and wade out where the sharks live. I know, sounds cowardly, but I am happy most days just writing, creating, believing that one day someone will pay to read what I have to say. For now, I am practicing my craft, I'm learning, stretching my legs, and finding my voice. I am a writer.

This question can consume you, if you let it. Truth is that if you write because you feel the desire to write, that an idea finds a space inside you and grows bigger every day, challenging you to ignore it or do something about it, then you finally put those words down and still can't stop thinking about them. That is what it's like to be a writer. Do you ever stay awake and think about an idea you have for something? Does it fester or bloom? Does the idea rob you of sleep, yet you couldn't care less about the sleep you're missing? Can you ignore it? If not, you just might be a writer. Sometimes I feel that it is more a curse than a blessing to have the desire to write. I think of all the sleep I might be getting if I weren't dwelling on the turn of a phrase, a climax to a story, a hook. I might rest, this is true. Would I be better off? Would I be happy if I didn't write? I have tried to do other things, give up on writing because, really, who has time these days. I know I should just "be reasonable" and find something that is rational and predictable. Why torture myself? These thoughts and ideas writers get must be dealt with. Writers deal with big thoughts, big ideas. We can't help but dwell on them. It is inside us. It can fester or bloom if we let it. Writing itself can feel like a disease. Does it have a cure?

Turns out that the cure to writing is the act itself. Writers can self-medicate. Write for the sake of writing. Don't be afraid to take more than the prescribed dose. Doctors beware. My addiction, my sickness, my disease is not just self-inflicted, but it's also self-healing. Do yourself a favor and admit you're a writer. This advice I also need to take. I'm a writer. I need to deal with that.