Snakes on a Plane

A friend of mine mentioned something I'd never heard before today. When she mentioned it, I nearly fell over laughing because I thought it was a joke. It's called an "emotional support snake". I didn't know what to think of this at first. Apparently, someone was allowed to take their emotional support snake on a plane. Now, this seems insane to me, and quite frankly, makes me cringe. I mean, if they're allowed to take a snake with them on a flight because it makes them feel better, where does this stop? Frankly, I do NOT feel better knowing someone sitting near me has a snake with them. I feel threatened. The snake on this plane provided supposed comfort for the owner. Good for her, or him, since I'm not really sure I've ever met a woman who felt better with a snake in her possession. If you are one of the few, you have my sympathy. Snakes, however helpful they may be in controlling the pest population, have a nasty habit of making most people uncomfortable. You could say that most people on that flight would probably feel threatened, or at the very least, uneasy on a plane with a snake. Like in the movie, Snakes on a Plane, such an event would cause quite a ruckus. Fear would likely be very pervasive. The snake was simply there for the owner's comfort, but had the extra benefit of making others fearful. I feel for these snake haters, as I am one of them. Snakes, in my opinion, are not to be trusted. They make me cringe. They have NEVER made me happy. Often, I've seen them on roadsides and was grateful that they made the bad decision to try crossing. I know, snake lovers out there are thinking I am a horrible person. But that's because I just don't get the warm fuzzies from them. They have a bad history. Eve tried befriending one, remember? How did that work out for humanity? Snakes are sneaky by nature and most of us would prefer not to have them near us if given a choice. 

Now what does this have to do with anything? Well, this discussion came up in relation to masks. She said that if a woman can bring her emotional support snake with her on a plane, she should be able to shop without wearing a mask because she feels safer without it. Makes sense to me, but it isn't our reality right now. I have nothing against someone feeling safe, mind you, but should you decide what is best for me? I could take my snake with me for support but it won't make others safe. In fact, it may actually do the opposite. My snake may get loose and end up killing somebody. I know, masks aren't dangerous, right? It depends. A mask will not physically attack you, but it will affect your breathing. Isn't breathing important? It used to be, but now we are told to put our needs aside and think about others. I could be slowly killed by her snake. Strangulation is a common thing in some species. Even worse, poison could be put into my bloodstream. Breathing in our own breath slowly strangles you. Your carbon dioxide poisons your system. These are real threats to my livelihood, just like that woman's snake. In the Marine Corps, I was taught to take care of myself first because if I die, I can't help others. Makes sense. Now I am being told to think about others before myself. It goes against all logic, in my mind. Yes, it is somehow selfish to want to breathe now. I may unknowingly infect another person if I am sick. So goes life. I am not by nature a selfish person. I am a survivor. Yes, I have children and think of them most times before myself. That is different. I still hate snakes. I loathe them actually. I'd protect my kids from them, if I didn't pass out first of fear. If you bring your snake on my plane for comfort, I can't promise you that I won't argue with you about it. The flight would be uncomfortable for all of us. Perhaps we all bring an item of comfort that rivals snakes. Don't be hatin' on me now for not wanting to sit near snakes on a plane. We are all in fear now. Thanks. 

This mask mandate makes no sense. The wearer is not even protecting himself. He looks at you, with your mask, with fear, contempt, anger, and uncertainty. "We're all in this together" they said. Well, thanks, but no thanks. I didn't sign up to protect my country years ago so I could one day give up my right to breathe. If they could actually prove that they are effective, I might change my position. For now, I say to breathe is to live and without breath is no life for me. Science has not proven this theory of protection by masks. I'd rather take my chances with that snake on a plane than wear a mask. At least I know the snake won't morph into something else. Not quite sure about these mask mandates. Couple days turned into months and now maybe years? What does it hurt, they say, to cooperate and just wear them? It hurts our chances of freedom. I am not a sheep, nor do I wear wool. Makes me itch. So do masks. Reagan said that "freedom is never more than one generation from extinction." Seem extreme to think this is something we should fight? If so, it was nice knowing you. Have you heard the saying, "If it was a snake, it would have bitten you?" That's losing our freedom. We are that close. I'm not sitting near that snake. Maybe I'd just be safer not getting on a plane at all, but that is just crazy talk. That's letting snake lady win.  I will fight for my right to be on a snake-free flight, a mask free flight. I will walk through the store, smiling for all to see. Look at me, I am free and as happy as can be. Everyone can see it... so long as I am not wearing a mask.